


Dos Lonely Boys

by ajayab



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Drabble, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Magnus Dies AU, Post-The Suffering Game, rated teen for some swears and junk, yall im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 05:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10633395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajayab/pseuds/ajayab
Summary: Merle deals with the Tres Horny Boys becoming the Dos Lonely Boys.An AU in which Magnus dies in Wonderland.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry 'bout the angst y'all. I'll do better next time.
> 
> Generally, an AU where Magnus dies in Wonderland, and life at the Bureau continues as normal after. No Hunger attack, or Merle and Taako snooping around with Barry.

The ride over was quiet. Neither of them wanted to talk. Taako was holding in sobs, hunched over as he clutched his umbrella. Merle sat right next to him, hand moving in circles on his friend’s back. Merle felt as though he’s been walking nonstop for the past week: walking through the Felicity Wilds, walking up to Wonderland, walking _through_ Wonderland. This was the first break he's gotten. It seemed to last only a couple seconds. Merle spent those seconds closing his eye and preparing himself for the reunion with the Bureau. Oh, it would be a disaster; a long, emotional disaster. All he wanted was to just go to bed. It's been days since they last slept. Pan knows they needed rest.

As they neared the second moon to the right, Taako began to straighten out, shrugging off Merle's tree hand. He took a few deep breaths, and slowed down his breathing. By the time they landed in the hangar, it was hard to tell Taako was even upset in the first place. Merle wondered how he did that - but then again, Taako always had been better at magic. Maybe he had some tears-be-gone spell Merle hasn't heard of. Would've been useful for that time in the Felicity Wilds where they lost Stephen for a bit, and Mag-

The door of the pod swung open, and Taako stepped onto the dock with his umbrella in one hand and that Animus Bell in the other. Merle was left in charge of carrying Ma- _his_ bag, filled with axes and a bunch of eventually useless items from Fantasy Costco. The glass bubble of Stephen the goldfish was intact, the little guy circling around. Merle stuffed the ball back into the bag and waddled onto the dock with Taako. That young guard (Alex?) dashed up to them, yelling and shouting. "Where have you been? We didn't get any response from you. We thought you all- you all died! We..." His glee quickly faded away. "Wait, where's... What happened to Magnus?"

"No, he _did_ die," Taako's voice flittered in a remarkably blasé tone. "You were one-third right, Av."

The dwarf glanced over at Taako, and Taako seemed _fine_. Not grieving over a close friend, or even looking like he was trying to stay strong, just... indifferent. Like he was just chatting about the weather. To be fair, Merle probably didn't look soul-crushed, but he probably looked a little less fine-and-dandy than his companion. "Listen, Havi," Merle began, "we're beat, and we kind of just-"

Before he could finish their excuse to get out of there, the swarm of Bureau members came running in. Not Angus (thank Pan; Merle couldn't deal with that kid right now), but Carey and Killian and NO-3113 and Davenport came bowling in. Geez, Merle certainly was not prepared for the whole lot to start asking where the tercer Reclaimer was. Here's hoping Taako was the one announcing the big news. Merle didn't know what exactly to say, and even if he did, he probably couldn't get the words out. He was ready to be alone.

"Guys! You're back!" Carey hollered, rushing up to them. "Wait, where's Magnus? What happened to Magnus?" It was a little funny how she said the exact same thing as Eli over there, but Merle wasn't gonna chuckle. Carey seemed so gleeful, eyes bright and tail wagging, waiting and waiting for Magnus to come home. The irony didn't dawn on Merle.

"Oh, uh, yeah, he's dead," said Taako, overlapping Merle's more emotional, "he's, um... gone." Carey practically collapsed, and Killian rushed in to swoop her up. Killian looked a little melancholy, but boy, Carey was sobbing her heart out. Killian didn't look up, but she asked, "what happened? How did it happen?"

"He died. Why is it important to know how?" Merle's gruff voice cut in, trying to end this line of questioning for stuff he didn't really want to rehash. Killian's eyes briefly widened, but she nodded, scooped her girlfriend up, and led her away, the sobs becoming quieter and quieter. NO-3113 shuffled her feet a bit, looking like she wanted to give the boys a pat on the arm or something, but she decided against it. She marched her way behind the Regulators out of the room. Merle looked around, and it seemed like they lost Avi as well. He left his flask on the ground, and well, it’s not good to let liquor go to waste, right? It was quickly stuffed in Merle’s pocket. Davenport cleared his throat, and the boys snapped their heads towards him.

A brief pause, then the gnome’s voice rang out, “Davenport!” Taako rolled his eyes a bit, then walked up to him, bell outstretched. “Yeah, we _get_ it,” Merle grumbled under his breath. “Davenport, Davenport, Davenport. C’mon, let’s get this over with.” That damned bell with dropped into Davenport’s care, and he led the boys out of the room to, where Merle presumed, wherever the Director was.

Davenport stayed a face paces in front of them, leaving the dos of the boys to walk together in silence. Back to walking. The silence was pretty uncomfortable, but talking would’ve been a lot worse. Merle just kept the same pace as his friend.

They were led into a chamber they haven’t been inside before, with high windows overlooking some sort of destruction room. Towards the wall chatting stood the Director and that little brat Angus McDonald. He notices their entrance first, and his face lights up. He looks absolutely delighted to see Merle and Taako (Merle knows he’s probably more excited for Taako than Merle, but he still felt a little touched by his face). “SIRS!” he yelled, running up to them, giddy and gay. “Sirs, you’re back! Oh, I’m so exci…” He trailed off, noticing the lack of a burly presence with them. Angus might’ve have been a kid, but he was the world’s greatest detective. He figured it out pretty quickly. He looked down, and took a couple steps back, his shoulders rising up. Behind him stood Lucretia, who straightened her back and said, "Merle, Taako, I-” Her voice caught. She cleared her throat and began again. “I’ll debrief with you tomorrow morning in my office. Try to get some rest.” Like Merle was going to be sleeping tonight.

Taako walked directly into his room when they got home and slammed the door behind him. So much for helping each other through it. Merle sighed, and walked to his room. He opened the door and walked over the bed, taking a chance to sit down. Last time he was in here, he had a lot more than he had now. He had both eyes (he wasn’t exactly attached to that eye, but he certainly enjoyed having _depth perception_ ). He had his wedding ring (again, he definitely did not miss his ex-wife, but it was a _symbol_ of a simpler time). He had his friend (he cared about that one).

Merle waddled out of the room, grabbing Navi’s flask out of his pocket. He took a swig of the bottle with a comical swallowing sound-effect accompanying it. Coming back into their common room, Merle could hear crying noises from the elf’s room. He’s lost a lot too. Merle passed that door and shuffled towards the next one. He let his hand rest on Magnus’s doorknob. He didn’t open the door or anything, he just stood there.

If Merle got anything out of that Wonderland hell-ride, it was that you had to stay positive through the rough stuff. He did a great job of that there. There were still positives. Well, he still had the memory of Mookie’s birth; he felt like a good father for that one. And hey- he still had Taako, right? He still had one of his friends.

He let out a shaky breath and sunk to the floor, his back to Magnus’s door. He fell asleep there, with an empty flask and a goldfish next to him.

* * *

The Rites of Remembrance took place a month later. The Director seemed to disappear from the Bureau for a week or so, but when she returned, she set the date. There was apparently a lot to collect from the world regarding Magnus.

Merle and Taako haven’t really been talking. There were plenty of opportunities for Merle to step in and reach out, to lend some sort of religious wisdom or friendly comfort, but he didn’t. Looking back, he didn’t know why. Taako stopped hanging around the apartment after a week or so. Merle wouldn’t be able to find him if he tried. It hasn’t exactly been a peachy month for Merle. He’s been drinking a lot more. He likes to sit in his usual field with some whiskey and Stephen the goldfish. He still hasn’t figured out how to feed the damn thing, but it seemed okay. Must’ve been enchanted or something. Merle wished he got Magnus a real pet at Candlenights so he’d have something to bounce around with besides that useless fish.

Lots of people showed to the memorial. It was a lot like Boyland’s, except this time, Merle actually knew the world was losing someone great. There were still lots of people in formal attire sobbing their eyes out, telling grand stories of the greatest employee they’ve ever met. Damn right he was.

Merle stood away from the mob, looking up at the Voidfish. It glowed and blinked, swirling around in it’s tank. Merle didn’t see the big appeal; maybe Magnus just really liked fish. A figure placed itself to his left, and Merle glanced up. “Hey, Taako.”

“Hey.”

Merle hasn’t heard the sing-song of his voice since they first came back from Wonderland. He was decked out in one of those fancy funeral dresses ( _much_ more classy than Merle’s polo shirt). Merle took note of the disguise spell still plastered on top of Taako’s face.

“Not getting into too much trouble?” asked Merle with immediate regret. What kind of question was that?

“Nope.” Taako’s voice, although with the usual lifts and twirls, sounded… dead. His eyes looked dead. Maybe if Merle was a better cleric he could fix that.

The actual ceremony began with the end of Johann’s melody. There were speeches and toast going on, but neither boys wanted to take part. Johann didn’t see particularly mournful; he hasn’t been a fan of Magnus since he tickled him mercilessly and stole the heart of his beloved jellyfish. The Director was striding towards Johann, several scrolls in her arms. There it was: all of Magnus, all of his life on just a couple pieces of paper. Johann took the load from her, and began his slow march towards the tank. Merle wondered if all the people Magnus has ever saved would remember there had been a protector at all. He wondered if that fellow who Magnus hated so much, and made the boys promise to kill (General Callous?), would still remember that he ruined someone’s life before. He wondered if whenever someone saw the tres happy boys laughing, they’d remember dos boys awkwardly staring at the ground and avoiding eye contact.

Johann dropped the scrolls in, and the parchment sunk downwards before evaporating. The Voidfish became alight, tiny explosions going off inside it as it erases memory after memory of the great folk hero who dabbled in both carpentry and animal handling.

Merle looked up towards Taako, whose face portrayed no emotion, if there was even an emotion to portray. As he looked between the empty eyes of Taako, and the memories of Magnus being destroyed, it dawned on Merle that, once again, he’s failed at being a father.


End file.
